The Beauties of Freedom

This time I won’t use a song to quote from it. I just want to say how happy I feel for being free again, of that burden that followed me everywhere. After all the fear I felt, and all the nights I couldn’t sleep, I was not taken to army.

The day finally arrived, and I had to go to the army to present myself. I had all the papers ready; they could help me to avoid that horrible future. I arrived 30 minutes early (at 5:30 am) and made the line to enter. There were a lot of men of my age, and all of them looked terrified - no one said anything. After 40 min they finally let us in, and made us wait more. After some minutes, the person in charge finally appeared, and he started saying how we should arrange our papers. In the process, many of us realized we didn’t have all the papers. I was scared, but the soldier said we could go to get them and come back at 10am.

Without thinking a second I got out of there, and went to the places I needed to go to get the missing papers, and after spending some money and riding around 6 taxis, I went back just in time. The location was empty, at least in comparison with the quantity of persons there were early in the morning. I made the line, and after waiting more, they finally received my papers. The guy classified them, and gave me one back I didn’t need (And I run a lot to get it ¬¬ ) and made me wait more.

The waiting was getting awfully nervous, but finally he came out, and told me they wouldn’t take me, that I could go home. He also said they were going to call me in 2 weeks to let me know how much I must pay for the Military Card. I was so happy that I went out of there running and screming, no matter how much people looked at me.

Now, after this experience, I feel relieved, and happy again. I’m optimistic enough again, and nothing puts me down. Thanks to all the people that supported me in this hard moment; I really appreciate it.

Field of Innocence

“I want to go back to believing in everything and knowing nothing at all”

Why do we get old? I remember those days when I used to be a kid, running happily with my friends in front of my house. That was as far as I could go, and I loved it. It was my friendship place -I had my friend, my family, and nothing else to worry about. Going to school was like to play. I learned interesting things like drawing, and I had time to play around, but those times started to get lost with time.

Now I’m a 19 years old man, lost in the middle of the battle between government, military forces and power. I still have my friends, and we can go further than the front of my house; I still study, and I enjoy it as ever, but now I have tons of responsibilities I have to take, even if I don’t want to. Sometimes I feel like adulthood is gaining on me, and I don’t want it to happen. Why be mature and solve problems in your life, when you can just run around? I still can’t answer that question, but I know I have to continue being responsible, and stop running around as a happy, little kid.

Now, after facing High School, Graduation, Admission exam for the University, and the difficult first semesters, I have to face another difficult part of my life: Military life. I still can’t understand why the government in my country wants us to pay a military service, that is obligatory. One could die in there, fighting for a reason one doesn’t support, for a country one doesn’t want to die for, but still one has to do it, for 2 long years. 2 long years where I can’t see my family, my friends, my teachers; 2 years in which I don’t live for other purpose than killing government’s enemies. I never thought I would kill anyone in my life, but one can only hope that doesn’t happen.

For long time I’ve known I had to do this, but I just kept taking it out of my mind, until now, when there’s just 1 week from the day the government will tell me: “Join our military forces, either if you want it or not. Die for our country, and you’ll receive nothing in reward. ” I fear that day; the nighs have become longer, and I can no longer sleep. Dreams of blood and death surround my mind, and nervousness invades my heart.

All I can hope for is a little of compassion, and enough luck to be told: “Go back home, you’re not useful for us”